There are always two ways one can look at life after a major disruption.
With pessimism or optimism.
Since transitioning into doing life sans partner, I've chosen to focus solely on what I have gained. The greatest on this list has been a new found freedom that I didn't necessarily have while considering the needs, opinions, and priorities of a spouse. And maybe I've always had this level of freedom and just didn't exercise it. Either way, I'm here now and my greatest question has been, "Londi, what do YOU want?" I ask myself this so consistently that it has almost become a mantra of sort.
I didn't realize that it would be so hard for me to consider things as an individual without the need to consider or consult with someone else. I realized that I didn't fully know the answer to this question. So this is where my personal work began. "Londi, what do you want?"
I started to ask myself this question as it pertained to varying areas of my life as a whole. I saw such a disconnect between my responses and my daily actions. My choices and habits just didn't seem to line up with what I'd said I wanted. However, I wanted them to!
I noticed there were three major things that I'd been missing that I felt would help get me on track to a life I genuinely desired to live.
A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power. – Brian Tracy
I have a great circle of support in friends and family, but when you don't have a clear understanding of what you're after, it's hard for people to support you while you're out here winging it at life. How can you assess or measure progress if you have no benchmark? Plans eliminate a vast majority of the excuses we tell ourselves. I've learned through this process that proper planning really puts the power to choose back into your own hands.
"Accountability separates the wishers in life from the action-takers that care enough about their future to account for their daily actions." ― John Di Lemme
I also realized that there is a difference in support and accountability. The best accountability comes from those in the race with you. Imagine if you were running the Boston Marathon. The support are your friends, family, and bystanders who are standing along the sidelines with posters in the air with your name on them, squeezing air horns, ringing cow bells, and reminding you that you've got this! That's support. Trust me support is vital in everything. But accountability keeps you committed. Accountability is that group, or maybe just that one person, who checks in every week to discuss how your marathon training is coming along. They send you resources, they workout with you, they enter the race with you. This person is right next to you huffin' and puffin' to the finish line right alongside you. The encouragement from the sidelines is great and motivational, and necessary. But, it's something about that push from the one beside you that says, "WE'VE got this." The commitment to accomplishing something with someone who has committed to accomplishing it with you is one of the truest finishing factors around! The greatest form of accountability is the mutual push from someone who understands by experience.
"Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility . . . . In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility." – Michael Korda
I realize consistency is something that only I can take responsibility for. Consistency is the result of a strong belief system and a healthy mindset. We often feel that we lack consistency because of resources or certain circumstances we find ourselves in. The truth is that consistency is a choice, every day, regardless of what the days bring. Consistency doesn't mean perfection, it doesn't mean progression each time by leaps and bounds. Consistency is simply the responsibility and choice of oneself to move in a direction we have committed to. That's mind over matter every time.
Alas, from my greatest desire for a plan, accountability, and consistency The Breakfast Meeting was created! Now how it turned into an entire concept based around food is a different conversation for a different day. Today, I simply want to invite ya to breakfast and ask ya...
What do you want?
If your answer starts with The Breakfast Meeting, click below and join me for breakfast! P.S. The community is FREE!