2018: Thank U, Next

MUA: Jaurdane Ivory | Dress: Nordstroms | Photo: Cyndi Brown

2018... Goodbye but not before I say thank you.

“New year. New me.” is such a cliché but for my life it just happened to have happened that way. I leave this year knowing that as hard as I held on. I can now let go. It’ll be ok. I will be ok. All will be well.

Although I can be a pretty private person, I have never been the one to portray an image of my life that indicates anything other than what is true. When life gets overbearing for me, I always opt for silence. And as much as I’d like to move on quietly, I know too well of God’s redemptive power when we unashamedly share our truths. Mine?

My Sleeping Lovey (4 mos.) | iPhoto Cred: My sissie 💖

I brought 2018 in gaining my daughter.

I leave 2018 with the loss of my marriage.

Yes. A year of emotional overload.

Embarrassed? Absolutely. Ashamed? A little. Disappointed? Completely. Heartbroken? For now.

I know that I don't have to share but I feel led to. Even if it makes us all a bit uncomfortable. No one bats an eye when you tell your engagement story, or share your wedding highlights. Everyone is downright thrilled when you share your pregnancy announcement and gender reveal. We love the highs, but don’t speak on the lows. Lows belong in secret.

The enemy manipulates self-esteem, identity, and peace through secrets.

And that doesn’t work for me.

Yes. This hurts like hell, but I’m going to heal out loud. Not for sympathy, but in hopes that whoever else is going (or will go) through this will know that if you seek to please God in all seasons you will come out of the fire as pure gold. Our truest character is found in our greatest inconveniences.

And because I wholeheartedly trust God’s plan for my life, I don’t really care who thinks what of me sharing my truth. Speaking my truth frees ME! My biggest prayer is that it also frees someone from the weight of shame and bitterness of a broken marriage, or any other failure the enemy would love to use to break you.

I pray that my life shows you how: You can transition into a new life dynamic with integrity. You can heal without shame. You can forgive without giving in to bitterness.

Dealing with and sharing your truth will heal you.

And while your hard season may feel like you’re suffocating, I can promise that you will get to a place where you can finally exhale –knowing that all will be well.

This has been my greatest lesson yet. Although, I hated every second of it, I'm finding a different kind of strength because of it. This year has had my heart all over the place, but one thing remains constant... God is still good.

Goodbye, 2018. #thankuNext

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